


Secure

by Romennim



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Introspection, M/M, Multi, POV Male Character, POV Second Person, Post-Movie(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-04
Updated: 2013-03-04
Packaged: 2017-12-04 08:07:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/708451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Romennim/pseuds/Romennim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I thought I would be the one to run away first, Jim.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secure

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Italiano available: [Sicuro](https://archiveofourown.org/works/708461) by [Romennim](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Romennim/pseuds/Romennim)



> **Beta:**[](http://writer-klmeri.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://writer-klmeri.livejournal.com/) **writer_klmeri**    
> I'd like to thank a few people and dedicate this little thing to them.. So! Thanks to [](http://rei-hino88.livejournal.com/profile)[**rei_hino88**](http://rei-hino88.livejournal.com/) , [](http://mkbdiapason.livejournal.com/profile)[**mkbdiapason**](http://mkbdiapason.livejournal.com/) , [](http://flannery-flame.livejournal.com/profile)[**flannery_flame**](http://flannery-flame.livejournal.com/) and [](http://writer-klmeri.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://writer-klmeri.livejournal.com/)**writer_klmeri** for bearing with me in this awful period

It's Bones who finds you first.

Not a surprise there, really.

In hindsight, you know - you're painfully aware - that he knows you better, personally. Spock knows how you think, how you feel, but he lacks a fundamental knowledge of who you have been before Starfleet and of what of that still remains in you, and so Bones is the first you see.

It just takes a day... A day you go away, then a day of solitude - how much you missed real solitude - and the next morning he's there in your courtyard, clothes rumpled after his flight.  
How much was he worried to take a flight to come and see you? you think, amused, and then grimace. He must have been worried a lot, you automatically think, and then you realize how uncharacteristic of you it must have been to vanish like that, and how much you must have worried him to make him run to you.

And so there he is, staring at you, chest heavily going up and down under the bright Iowa sky.  
You feel a sudden rush of fondness for him - and yes, love. How much do you miss him still? you wonder, and the squeeze around your heart immediately answers you and makes you stop thinking about it.

You thought you would be happier being alone, but the sight of him just makes you feel grateful that he's there, that he's the person who found you.

You don't want to think what that means to you, after the reunion with Spock... But, at the moment, you don't want to think about Spock at all.

Bones just walks until he's mere centimeters away from you, a bag in his hand. Only then, you give yourself a moment to notice his clothes: you give him a look over and then grin.  
He matches you in his Georgian country style.

But suddenly you don't know what to tell him or how to greet him.

How did you become like this, without even a joke on your lips?

Bones seems to understand and just because he's not a type to beat around the bush, he says, "I thought I would be the one to run away first, Jim."

You'd like to grimace, but the grimace fights with the smile that threatens to come out. That's so typical of Bones.

It's useless to deny it, but you feel grateful and a bit awed by him; in the fallout of yours - yours, Bones', Spock's, _Spock's..._ \- relationship, it was as if you'd lost your friend.  
You don't have him back yet, you can see that in the cautiousness of his eyes and movements, but you can also see his willingness to help the other person who was hurt like him, even if this person hurt him too.  
But it was a hurt born of another hurt, and he can understand, almost accept it.  
That's what makes him so special, so _him_.

And even if that doesn't mean it will be easy to gain his trust again, you don't care: he's here, and that means something. That means he cares, and even if what lays ahead of you won't be easy, you're grateful for what he can give you now. The rest can wait.

That, however, doesn't scare you as much of what awaits for you with Spock scares you. Not even a bit.

You were sure of the both of them, completely sure, but you were wrong about Spock. So very wrong.  
And now you feel as if you can't trust your own judgment anymore. At the moment your heart just trusts Bones, his opinions and thoughts.  
Doesn't matter what Spock said in the Infirmary... It's not enough. Not enough to start again.

You instinctively hug Bones, gratefulness pouring out in waves from you.  
Your instinct knew, before you, that you needed him, and here he is.

He answers your hug a bit hesitantly, carefully, but you understand and just squeeze a bit more.

Then you release him and invite him inside.

 

Three days after that, Spock finds you too.

On the porch, seeing him approaching, Bones a bit more sure at your back, you feel confident, thinking about what you must face in a few moments.

For the first time in what feels like ages, you feel secure and hopeful for your future.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on October 28th, 2010


End file.
